Posts tagged #relationships
Amy Answers Listener Questions

I will not ever, ever tire of listener questions. Keep 'em coming, listeners!! This week I weigh in on a few that I find come regularly.

Thanks for letting me be a part of your process!

xoxo

Amy

Girlfriend Talk: Do I Contact Him?
Amy and Christy

Spoiler Alert: NO! NO!!! NO!!! Please listen to this if you are committed to expressing your feminine energy in romantic relationship, but keep telling yourself it is okay to contact him. If you want to be the feminine energy in a symbiotic, hot, energetically orderly romantic relationship, you have GOT TO avert your eyes away from him and keep them on the horizon and your own heart's desires. He literally will not know what hit him, and he'll think you just arrived from Venus. Pretty much because you will.

Put your phone down, ladies. I know it feels panicky and daunting to let go, but I'm here for you. So is my guest and very dear friend Christy. Don't miss our real-life get together with microphones!

xoxo

Amy

 
My Mother's Day Club
I was several weeks late on my wedding day and found out that morning I was not pregnant. It was our 3rd month of trying and I marked it as officially not being in the "effortless conception" birthmother club. I knew intuitively that day another path may be planned for me.

I was several weeks late on my wedding day and found out that morning I was not pregnant. It was our 3rd month of trying and I marked it as officially not being in the "effortless conception" birthmother club. I knew intuitively that day another path may be planned for me.

This is the first Mother’s Day in four years of trying to become pregnant and then giving up on becoming pregnant that I don’t care about the club I'm not in. The didn't-try, oooops, I got pregnant when my husband looked at me, I drank tequila and got pregnant, I didn't think it would happen that fast, infuriating, effortless conception birthmother club. I actually don't care. It's delicious. I might tomorrow, but I don't today. I didn't plan to write this, but I must, while it's here. It just arrived. Clear, blissful awareness: I don't care.

This day used to be like the peak of a mountain of the hot, cramping shame that comes with only giving birth to pain. To release this shame is to realize I am in a club. Every woman who miscarried, crossed the threshold into a cold clinic, experienced not hours but years of labor before seeing her birthchildren, or raised and loved like there was DNA when there was not, is in my club. Every woman who thinks only of those going through what she went through and names their pain when she posts her children's baby pictures (or names it by rarely or never posting) is in my club. And especially, the "unexplained infertility" woman who wanted to and did not conceive, miscarry, or give birth is in my Mother's Day club. We may not know surprise in a pierce and tug below the navel, or our birth children, but damn...we know ourselves.

My Mother's Day club includes stepmoms, especially the ones that concentrate on offering what they needed and did or didn’t get. I don’t require anything from our boys so that I can feel better, and I see the relief in their eyes when they know I am here for them, not me. The gift is, they let me know them. They share their lives with me. It's not on display, and it is real, alive, and unbreakable. I went through a lot to be able to understand and create that, and I'm proud of myself, and satisfied and content with our busy daily life. For that, I am able to gratefully receive Mother's Day wishes from absolutely anyone, annual flowers from my my mom, and great gifts my husband.

Here is my club's mission-ish statement, in case you want to join. "I am enough, and most of the time it feels good to have gone with the will of the wind and not a fixed fantasy." As in hospital photos on Instagram. Sometimes it bewilders and shocks me mine only got taken after surgery. Alone, drowsy, my husband holding up his phone camera saying "babe, you look really pretty". I still sense psychic echoes of a growing girl-child with one shoe under her bed and another in the car that make me feel crazy. I count how old she would've been from a successful procedure date. Sometimes it hurts so bad I have to find a powder room to cry in and I feel my heart actually spasm. I don't eat it or work it away anymore like at first. I have the guts to sit and feel it, and the heart strength that comes of sitting with it gets passed on to everyone I love, especially my man. It also goes to all my friends who had and are having babies. I get to actually feel happy for them. It's a miracle, and they are welcome in my club. All effortless conception birthmothers are. We are in this together.

I carry on in the way that works for me: believing that if that was my fate it would have happened, and that I prefer to relax, let go and trust. You may have a different way to carry on. In my club, everyone gets their own way and no one tells them what it is- they find it out on their own. In my club, happy endings are Divinely Ordered and they all look different. Deep womanhood and abiding motherhood apply to a vast array of people to love, projects to deliver, and experiences to cherish. In my club, we know that yearning and learning have a place in a woman's life, for all she may not see today, but will.

You are not alone.

Love,
Amy

P.S. write me if you feel like it. somethingbetterpodcast@gmail.com This week's podcast is an interview with Bestselling author Claire Bidwell Smith, who is an incredibly vulnerable, truthful writer and definitely inspired me to write this.

 
An Interview With Empowering Goddess Gabby Reece
Gabby Reece and Laird Hamilton

Gabby Reece and Laird Hamilton

World renowned athlete Gabby Reece is my guest on the podcast this week! She was open and intimate about being married (with three kids) to Big Wave surfer and innovator Laird Hamilton and gracious to have taken time to share her experience with us. I'm on the path of leaving my comfort zone so my dreams can come true too, right along with you. Yes, I feel vulnerable and odd when I'm asking people to meet me on the web for an interview, but it is always worth it no matter the outcome. Gabby is a personal hero and walks Something Better talk. I am super grateful to have had this chance to share an hour of her full life. Listen in, pick up her NY Times Bestseller My Foot is Too Big for the Glass Slipper and email me your thoughts! somethingbetterpodcast@gmail.com

xo
Amy

 
Sharing
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Have you ever told someone something that you had been holding inside? When you got it out, you might've waited to be judged or ridiculed and instead the person proves trustworthy and loving and just nods, and says, "yep...."

That's how I want you to feel after sharing with your friends, with other listeners, or emailing me at somethingbetterpodcast@gmail.com

Shame grows like mold, in the dark, and when you share what you're feeling about not having found love, not feeling the love, or anything else that is holding you back, you liberate yourself.

Thanks so much to all those who have had the guts to let it all out.

I'm glad it is helping. Pass it on!

 
Good Air
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Good Air

I once read that Jerry Seinfeld said he married his wife Jessica because she was “good air”. I loved that- something about her was just breezy, high, good weather. And to me, that was what I was doing when I was sharing my philosophies during yoga classes I taught for many years. I wanted to help everybody get to their good air. My student Michael once came to my Friday 7am telling me that in the middle of the night he had remembered a guy he saw sleeping on Pico Blvd. So in the morning, he made a breakfast sandwich thinking, ‘if he’s there, I’ll give it to him.’ He was. He came to that class so, so happy. That’s good air. We all have stuff and avoiding it is impossible. I am the first to fall down a well of my own self pity and forget others, and forget perspective-but we can still attempt a daily shift. So this week on the podcast, 25 sentiments I’ve carried, learned and discovered that can cultivate "good air" in you- and let’s just say I attend my own lectures.

160 Dates
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Listeners, meet @160dates (Instagram) my interview with a Something Better gal, a woman who is anonymously sharing her personal journey of exploring self love and self awareness through dating. I believe she'll find her true match and realize her dream of partnership and children. Her experience, openness and introspection is a must-hear. Plus, she is downright adorable!!