Girlfriend Talk: Do I Contact Him?
Amy and Christy

Spoiler Alert: NO! NO!!! NO!!! Please listen to this if you are committed to expressing your feminine energy in romantic relationship, but keep telling yourself it is okay to contact him. If you want to be the feminine energy in a symbiotic, hot, energetically orderly romantic relationship, you have GOT TO avert your eyes away from him and keep them on the horizon and your own heart's desires. He literally will not know what hit him, and he'll think you just arrived from Venus. Pretty much because you will.

Put your phone down, ladies. I know it feels panicky and daunting to let go, but I'm here for you. So is my guest and very dear friend Christy. Don't miss our real-life get together with microphones!

xoxo

Amy

 
Amy Loftus
My Mother's Day Club
 I was several weeks late on my wedding day and got my period that morning. It was our 3rd month of trying and I marked it as officially not being in the "effortless conception" birthmother club. I knew intuitively that day another path may be planned for me.

I was several weeks late on my wedding day and got my period that morning. It was our 3rd month of trying and I marked it as officially not being in the "effortless conception" birthmother club. I knew intuitively that day another path may be planned for me.

This is the first Mother’s Day in four years of trying to become pregnant and then giving up on becoming pregnant that I don’t care about the club I'm not in. The didn't-try, oooops, I got pregnant when my husband looked at me, I drank tequila and got pregnant, I didn't think it would happen that fast, infuriating, effortless conception birthmother club. I actually don't care. It's delicious. I might tomorrow, but I don't today. I didn't plan to write this, but I must, while it's here. It just arrived. Clear, blissful awareness: I don't care.

This day used to be like the peak of a mountain of the hot, cramping shame that comes with only giving birth to pain. To release this shame is to realize I am in a club. Every woman who miscarried, crossed the threshold into a cold clinic, experienced not hours but years of labor before seeing her birthchildren, or raised and loved like there was DNA when there was not, is in my club. Every woman who thinks only of those going through what she went through and names their pain when she posts her children's baby pictures (or names it by rarely or never posting) is in my club. And especially, the "unexplained infertility" woman who wanted to and did not conceive, miscarry, or give birth is in my Mother's Day club. We may not know surprise in a pierce and tug below the navel, or our birth children, but damn...we know ourselves.

My Mother's Day club includes stepmoms, especially the ones that concentrate on offering what they needed and did or didn’t get. I don’t require anything from our boys so that I can feel better, and I see the relief in their eyes when they know I am here for them, not me. The gift is, they let me know them. They share their lives with me. It's not on display, and it is real, alive, and unbreakable. I went through a lot to be able to understand and create that, and I'm proud of myself, and satisfied and content with our busy daily life. For that, I am able to gratefully receive Mother's Day wishes from absolutely anyone, annual flowers from my my mom, and great gifts my husband.

Here is my club's mission-ish statement, in case you want to join. "I am enough, and most of the time it feels good to have gone with the will of the wind and not a fixed fantasy." As in hospital photos on Instagram. Sometimes it bewilders and shocks me mine only got taken after surgery. Alone, drowsy, my husband holding up his phone camera saying "babe, you look really pretty". I still sense psychic echoes of a growing girl-child with one shoe under her bed and another in the car that make me feel crazy. I count how old she would've been from a successful procedure date. Sometimes it hurts so bad I have to find a powder room to cry in and I feel my heart actually spasm. I don't eat it or work it away anymore like at first. I have the guts to sit and feel it, and the heart strength that comes of sitting with it gets passed on to everyone I love, especially my man. It also goes to all my friends who had and are having babies. I get to actually feel happy for them. It's a miracle, and they are welcome in my club. All effortless conception birthmothers are. We are in this together.

I carry on in the way that works for me: believing that if that was my fate it would have happened, and that I prefer to relax, let go and trust. You may have a different way to carry on. In my club, everyone gets their own way and no one tells them what it is- they find it out on their own. In my club, happy endings are Divinely Ordered and they all look different. Deep womanhood and abiding motherhood apply to a vast array of people to love, projects to deliver, and experiences to cherish. In my club, we know that yearning and learning have a place in a woman's life, for all she may not see today, but will.

You are not alone.

Love,
Amy

P.S. write me if you feel like it. somethingbetterpodcast@gmail.com This week's podcast is an interview with Bestselling author Claire Bidwell Smith, who is an incredibly vulnerable, truthful writer and definitely inspired me to write this.

 
Amy Loftus
Young Men and Healthy Masculinity
 
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Ever read a parenting article and wondered if the author even has kids? Jodie Fratantuno is my guest this week because she is a conscious, loving mom who walks her talk. Calling all Moms, Stepmoms, Aunties, Teachers, Coaches and Friends! Our topic is emotional intelligence and inner life in young men to develop healthy masculinity. Jodie and I are developing a program to teach young men about their inner life. I have reframed the gun debate to become pro-young men because I believe we will no longer need to be anti-gun when we all circle around our young men and guide them to higher ground.

 
 
Amy Loftus
An Interview with Laura Doyle
 NY Times bestselling author Laura Doyle

NY Times bestselling author Laura Doyle

Laura Doyle is the woman who started the worldwide movement of women who practice The Six Intimacy Skills that lead to having amazing, vibrant relationships. She is a New York Times bestselling author whose books have been translated into 17 languages. She founded an international relationship coaching company and has appeared on The Today Show, Good Morning America and The View, and she has her own TV show on Amazon called "Empowering Wives". My favorite part of her bio is "The thing she’s most proud of is her gratifying, 27-year marriage with her hilarious husband John, who has been dressing himself since before she was born." LOL, and ha-hem....

I read her book "The Surrendered Wife" my first year of marriage (after I gave my first copy to Good Will! Ha!) and it shifted a huge area of our life for me--finances. Laura was a total delight to interview and is full of lighthearted, crystallized phrases, such as "a complaint is an upside down desire" and "respect is like oxygen for men" (I couldn't agree more.) Whether you are single or married, don't miss this episode!

 
InterviewAmy Loftus
An Interview With Empowering Goddess Gabby Reece
 Gabby Reece and Laird Hamilton

Gabby Reece and Laird Hamilton

World renowned athlete Gabby Reece is my guest on the podcast this week! She was open and intimate about being married (with three kids) to Big Wave surfer and innovator Laird Hamilton and gracious to have taken time to share her experience with us. I'm on the path of leaving my comfort zone so my dreams can come true too, right along with you. Yes, I feel vulnerable and odd when I'm asking people to meet me on the web for an interview, but it is always worth it no matter the outcome. Gabby is a personal hero and walks Something Better talk. I am super grateful to have had this chance to share an hour of her full life. Listen in, pick up her NY Times Bestseller My Foot is Too Big for the Glass Slipper and email me your thoughts! somethingbetterpodcast@gmail.com

xo
Amy

 
InterviewAmy Loftus
Online Dating: A Listener's Experience
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Are you hesitating to write a guy on Bumble because you're questioning what feminine energy principles look like in real life? Erin, a listener, offered her time and experience so I could offer my take on the nuances of online dating in alignment with the principles of Something Better. Listen for some hot tips and hope!

 
Amy Loftus
On Beauty
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What do you think is the heart of beauty? I think it is cleanliness-- and by that i mean soul-level clean. Living from your heart, being true; heart mind and soul.

Tune in and remember who you really are. Beautiful from the inside.

xoxo

Amy

 
Amy Loftus
Bachelor #1, what's your ideal first date?
 Matt

Matt

It's time for you single ladies to hear from a real live handsome good hearted man who wants love marriage and kids, so you can realize they are in your hood too!! Keep the faith!! My guest this week is my single and available friend Matt Ciccone. Email me if you want to get in touch with him!

Enjoy! (here.)

xoxo

Amy

 
InterviewAmy Loftus
Sharing
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Have you ever told someone something that you had been holding inside? When you got it out, you might've waited to be judged or ridiculed and instead the person proves trustworthy and loving and just nods, and says, "yep...."

That's how I want you to feel after sharing with your friends, with other listeners, or emailing me at somethingbetterpodcast@gmail.com

Shame grows like mold, in the dark, and when you share what you're feeling about not having found love, not feeling the love, or anything else that is holding you back, you liberate yourself.

Thanks so much to all those who have had the guts to let it all out.

I'm glad it is helping. Pass it on!

xoxo
Amy

 
Amy Loftus
Just One of the Guys
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Hey Single Girls, is taking your platonic place among a group of guys and joining in the sarcasm and shrugging becoming a place for you to hide your fear of vulnerability? This week I heard from a listener who left messages about her experience of that on the Something Better Google voicemail. (323-999-1536) I called her "Just One of the Guys" and I love her guts-- to freely let it all out on the voicemail and open up out of a genuine willingness to change. Is she alone? I doubt it. If you relate to what you hear, please let me know at somethingbetterpodcast@gmail.com!

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/something-better/id1278775374?mt=2

xoxo

Amy

 
Amy Loftus
Good Air
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Good Air

I once read that Jerry Seinfeld said he married his wife Jessica because she was “good air”. I loved that- something about her was just breezy, high, good weather. And to me, that was what I was doing when I was sharing my philosophies during yoga classes I taught for many years. I wanted to help everybody get to their good air. My student Michael once came to my Friday 7am telling me that in the middle of the night he had remembered a guy he saw sleeping on Pico Blvd. So in the morning, he made a breakfast sandwich thinking, ‘if he’s there, I’ll give it to him.’ He was. He came to that class so, so happy. That’s good air. We all have stuff and avoiding it is impossible. I am the first to fall down a well of my own self pity and forget others, and forget perspective-but we can still attempt a daily shift. So this week on the podcast, 25 sentiments I’ve carried, learned and discovered that can cultivate "good air" in you- and let’s just say I attend my own lectures.

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/something-better/id1278775374?mt=2

Amy Loftus
160 Dates
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Listeners, meet @160dates (Instagram) my interview with a Something Better gal, a woman who is anonymously sharing her personal journey of exploring self love and self awareness through dating. I believe she'll find her true match and realize her dream of partnership and children. Her experience, openness and introspection is a must-hear. Plus, she is downright adorable!!

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/something-better/id1278775374?mt=2

 
InterviewAmy Loftus
It's Always Working Out

How do men today really feel inside?

The best part about having a podcast is that when I meet a remarkable and interesting person, I get to invite them to have a conversation with us. That's what happened when I recently met a woman named Nancy and we explored this question about men, among other ideas. This Tuesday!

 

 
Amy Loftus
Breaking Up With Your Parents: Becoming YourSelf
 Rich Jacques, probably getting a song idea while someone photographs him

Rich Jacques, probably getting a song idea while someone photographs him

This week I am joined by Rich Jacques, a Grammy winning singer/songwriter and producer, and one of my favorite people to write songs with, not only because he's a musical genius, but because he is always up for a deep talk. (he produced the song you hear when you tune into the podcast, "Sweetest Surrender")

Rich is one of the wisest people I know, and we delved into the idea of "breaking up" with family members or anyone with whom you may be playing out stagnant patterns that block you from realizing your personal relationship dreams and desires.

I adore Rich and i think you're going to get why!

xoxo

Amy

Link to Podcast here!